EP 50 | Ben Newman on Building and Seizing the Prize Fighter Day

Patrick Brewer  11:00

Hey Model FA's, I know you're enjoying this conversation. But I wanted to take a quick break to talk to you about the Model FA accelerator. This is a unique collaboration between us and you, where we help you build a financial advising practice that you can be proud of, we focus on the foundational concepts around how to pick a niche or a specialization, how to price your services, how to construct an offer that people are going to buy, and then how to market it and sell it in a way that will get people to sign on the dotted line and become clients of your firm, all while giving you the information to scale and set up workflows and operational processes that will allow you to reclaim your time and build a practice that doesn't run you. So if you'd like to hear more about that, go to www.modelfa.com/accelerator or www.modelFA.com, hover over "Work With Us" and click on "Accelerator," and hope to see you in the program.

David DeCelle  11:49

So I couldn't agree with that more I find when I'm operating at my best or when the folks that I'm working with are operating at their best, they're typically the most confident. And when they're not operating at their best or when I'm not operating at my best. It's because I'm not confident in that moment. And so I feel like it's more of a confidence thing than anything, but then you have to figure out well, where am I either getting or losing my confidence. And to your point, I think it comes down to whether or not you keep those little promises to yourself on a daily basis, whether it be the time that you wake up, or if it crosses your mind that you saw a piece of trash in the ground, and then you don't pick it up, right that you know may bite you in the butt at some point like little things like that. If you say you're gonna do something at a certain time, you're making sure to actually do that at that time. I think a lot of folks will put off their marketing their business development or their phoning time, but they don't treat it like a client meeting so they don't reschedule it. If something else came up during that moment. And I feel like it comes down to whether or not you keep the little promises to yourself. So this is a nice segue over then to I feel like there's so many different lists out there. So as an example, you have one that's called the prizefighter day we have one that's called the C three list, Andy for Sella has one that's called the power list. And I don't think that any of the lists are necessarily right or wrong. I think it's just a matter of picking one that works for you and actually following through with it. So can you tell us a little bit about the prizefighter day And specifically, the psychology behind it as to why it works and helps people get to that next level?

Ben Newman  13:27

Well, once again, I think your see three day Andy's power list, the prizefighter day, they are all concepts that embrace that balance does exist in life. And I think there are far too many individuals, coaches, particularly that are teaching that balance doesn't exist, or leaders or managers balance doesn't exist. We just worked really hard to take time off. Well, we have to remember as a leader, as a coach, as an example for somebody watching your baby. What comes out of your mouth goes into your ears, that's what your beliefs are and that's what drives your action. So I've always believed that you can have balance I look at your calendar you believe you can have balance. Andy for Sela believes that he can have balance. So a prizefighter day breaks up your decisions that are 100% your control not results, but your decisions personally, professionally, and in your service to others. So the personal it could be, I need to work out and eat right and be present and focus with my family. If I do those three things. Personally, I know I've won the personal component of my dad, professionally and I call them pOcT points of contact, text message, email, phone, call my voice in the marketplace, I'm open for business. So an advisor may say 20 PLCs a day. If I do my 20 PLCs a day I can look in the mirror and say I gave it my very best from a business standpoint. And as long as we give it our very best every day, nobody can ever take that away from us or ask any more of us than that. And then the final pieces of the service base piece, which john wooden arguably the greatest coach to ever coach anything UCLA basketball coach that won 10 championships in 12 years, he actually wrote more best selling books in his 90s, the 99%, of best selling author, so a hell of a thought leader. And you cannot have a great day until you've done something for somebody else with no expectation of anything in return, picking up that piece of trash, buying a cup of coffee for somebody anonymously, just doing some acts of service. And the world needs people to love on people right now. So if you do those three things every day, and you focus on that's my win, or you break down your C three day, this is how I win, or a powerless, this is how I win, and you do it. Psychologically, you're teaching yourself that you can have balance, you can do all these things. And we all know it. Nobody believes that you can perform at your highest possible level by not eating well, because you're living to your excuses or not working out because you're busy working on a project, what a bunch of nonsense. Your confidence in your energy comes from the release of your endorphins, feeling great about yourself, honoring your commitments to yourself showing up and being your best, we all so none of us whether you're a coach, whether you're a leader, whether you're an advisor, we can't live to our feelings, we have to understand and identify the standard. And that's what the C three does prizefighter day does, if that's my standard, and I would rather live to my standard deliver to my feelings. And if everybody wants it, I know it's shorter in terms of time, if everybody sends a text message 2314274652231427465 to two, just the word burn, will send you a course for having me on the show a prizefighter day course, which will kind of break down for all of you how to build a prizefighter day. And whether you take what you learned from that course and sink it into the C three model makes no difference to me. But to spend that 2030 minutes, breaking down what your standard truly is, and what it means for you to win. It'll change your life. I've seen you build what you built by living to that consistency every day.

David DeCelle  17:12

What I like about it, and there's similarities between all these lists, which is, what can I do to move myself forward? What can I do to move others forward? What can I do to move my business forward, and I reflect back to any time I felt off kilter at all, I may have been, you know, obsessive, with my business obsessive with, you know, my body and working out and eating healthy, but if I wasn't communicating regularly with my family, or spending that time with them, I just felt off or if I was making a bunch of money, but I was overweight, because I was spending that money at restaurants where it wasn't the best, you know, sort of food that I should be ingesting, I just felt off kilter. So I think it's, to your point, it's important to have that balance. Or there's I forget who had said this initially, where I came across it, but more of a blended life. And it's more than possible to your point is nonsense when people say that they can't, and what I like about this, or how this, I think, guarantees, or certainly almost guarantees that you can actually follow through on this is two things. Number one, as you alluded to, they're 100% in your control. So you're not saying book, a certain amount of meetings, you're not saying lose a certain amount of weight, you're saying what's the input that I can control that way, it's just whether I did it or not. And second is, if you wake up in the morning, and you know, like what your list is, but you haven't yet mapped out throughout your day, when you're going to do it, the likelihood of you following through on that, and not making excuses during the day is pretty small. So I'm a big believer in making sure that you're planning this stuff out the night before. So like, I have my desk right here. It's like a black glass top, and I got this white chalk marker where your to do list is over here. So it's like I know exactly what to do, I then put it into my calendar. So almost like double planning and ensuring that that stuff actually gets done. So that's the stuff that I would call it. And this is fully Pun intended with my next question, this is what's required. Go and so this is what's required to, I think, meet the somewhat minimum standard of your level of success. This is just to be a fully functioning human being that can more than pay their bills, love their family and provide for others in their community and you know, whatever they're passionate about, but then you also have something that you call unrequired. And if I'm not mistaken, I saw on your Instagram story today, which by the way, and you can give a plug once we wrap up, but that's at continued fight on Instagram, but you post on your Instagram story today. I'm pretty sure your 636 days straight into what you call the unrequired. So I want to know specifically what is the unrequired that you're referencing, and there's certainly fitting physical benefits to this, but I'm more interested in understanding the mental benefits to doing what you call the unrequired.

Ben Newman  20:08

So my unrequired is my own required. So I will answer your question, but then I'm going to paint the picture for everybody to own what the unrequired means for them in their lives. So the unrequired for me from a physical standpoint, it's 10 exercises, all bodyweight so you know, air squats, planking, jumping jacks, push ups, all these different 10 exercises that take me 45 minutes, and I've done it for 636 straight days. And one of the reasons why I did that was after reading David Goggins book can't hurt me,

David DeCelle  20:41

you can't not be motivated after that.

Ben Newman  20:44

Not be motivated after reading that book. And so, you know, he challenges you in that book, and I accepted the challenges. And you know, what came from it was this unrequired mindset. And so I used to work out a lot, but not like I do now. And so the unrequired became the extra, so I no longer have days off those days, I do the unrequired days that used to be lifting days, I lift, and I do the unrequired workout. So the unrequired, it's the little bit extra that you're willing to do. And so the definition of unrequired are the things that other people can't see, they won't do, they don't want to talk about, that we as high performers choose to make a priority. And I've seen athletes embrace this. I've seen high performing advisors embrace this, and individuals in business, you take Matt Jones, you know, it's been a blessing for me to work with Matt for three years, and I'll continue to work with him into the NFL, and he's getting ready to get drafted. He just had his pro day yesterday. That young man embraces the unrequired. He knows that you have to do what's required of you. But then I'm going to stack a little extra on top. Maybe it's breaking down a little extra game film, maybe it's breaking down a little extra footwork drills, right, it's figuring out what's my extra financial advisor, the periods of time where I struggled the most. I remember back in 2010, I had a period of time where I was writing game size, NFL checks back to the company that I worked for, my accountant was saying to me, Ben, what's going on here, I have no clients that write checks back to the company that work for me. And my behaviors were a little bit off. And so I had to recommit back to the behaviors, the 20 PLCs. For me, that was my very best, but then the unrequired would be an extra two. And a lot of people think oh my gosh, you're going to tell me to work a 36 hour a day. No, I'm going to say, if 20 is your number, and you believe in doing the unrequired, then in order to get to the unrequired, here's the psychology, you have to do the required. So you have to do your 20. Before you can do the unrequired. And if the unrequired is the little bit extra that actually makes champions champions, whether it's at Alabama, or it's with you inside your financial services organization, that extra two gets done once you do your 20. And it's only an extra two, it's an extra 10%. And you can't tell me if you really want it bad enough that you don't have time to do an extra 10%. David, you've had done the extra 10% for a long period of time, you haven't called it the unrequired. I've been looking at your calendar for years now you've been posting it, and you've been doing the unrequired you're doing more than other people, they didn't really want to talk about it. They'll tell you they want to do it. And the unrequired is what becomes the separator to what the true high performers are willing to do. So mine does come out in a physical format. I'm not telling anybody you got to get crazy like me, it worked out 636 days in a row. But find areas of your life. Once you build your C three list your prizefighter day you're powerless and just add a little bit extra, go into a couple areas, add 10% and watch how it changes your life.

David DeCelle  23:48

Yeah, I think for everyone listening, you know someone like Ben, and you know, people like you as well, we have all the excuses in the world. I mean, Ben runs a multi million dollar business. He has a number of clients all throughout the country in the world under normal, non COVID circumstances. He's on the plane, you know, one to three times a week, he's got a family, he's got kids, yet, from a fitness perspective, as this example, he hasn't missed one of those unrequired workouts and 636 days because it's only 45 minutes. So it comes down to prioritization and following through on that blended life. So for those of you who are listening, who may struggle with consistency in these areas, this may be an episode that is worth maybe speeding up a little bit so that you're you know, listening to it a second time but a little bit faster and getting this stuff ingrained in your mind to remove excuses, build your confidence and do the things that you know you need to do to move all aspects of your life forward. So before we close out the show, for those of you who found value today, which I think it would be hard to not get value out of this episode two things that would be incredibly helpful. And we would very much appreciate it. Number one is share this episode, I think that this is a specific episode that can be shared both with your financial advisor peers as well as anyone else in your life, there's principles that can be, you know, applied to multiple different industries and stages of life. And then number two, if you could go ahead and leave us a review on iTunes, that would just help with our visibility and our ranking on that platform. So we'd appreciate that. And if you go ahead and take a screenshot of that, and text that 29782282338, again, 978-228-2338, and just text that with Ben Newman's name on that. So I know which episodes it's in regards to. And we'll put you in the drawing to get access to our accelerator program, which is our digital component of our coaching. So thank you in advance for doing that. With that being said, Ben, I know that this has been highly anticipated by me, I appreciate the kind words at the beginning. I appreciate the insight and advice throughout the episode. And I genuinely appreciate the mentorship that you've given me throughout the years, both directly and from afar through the content that you've put out. I'm where I am now, partly due to the stuff that you share and the stuff that I've learned from you. And for that I'm grateful. So thank you.

Ben Newman  26:20

I appreciate you saying that and appreciate you allowing me to still be part of the journey and keep attacking every single day. That's for you. That's for me, and for everybody listening, so I appreciate it so much.

David DeCelle  26:32

Awesome. So and I almost forgot. So on Instagram, they can find you at continued fight. What other social platforms or websites do you want to direct folks to

Ben Newman  26:42

Ben newman.net. That is the main website and we'd love to stay connected with so many.

David DeCelle  26:49

Awesome. Oh, Ben, thank you for joining. Thanks so much. Take care